For a tranquil farewell” – an article by Bindu Nair
“When I told my father about his illness, he asked me to just ignore it. He naturally wished to be at home with his family till the end.” Bindu Nair writes in The Hindu Open Page about how her knowledge of palliative care and the suggestion by a considerate doctor helped her make a choice between a painful surgery for her father and allowing him to live the remainder of his life in peace and to die in dignity.
“With the help of some medication he lived with us happily for about two more months. He enjoyed the care given to him and we had the satisfaction of serving him when it was needed.”
You can read the complete article by Bindu Nair.
The article’For a tranquil farewell” published in the Hindu dated April13,2014,made me somewhat emotional.My mother at the age of 56 was ailing of some ortho problem that had made her movement little difficult.We tried our best with all possible treatment but in vain. One day in the year 2005,she first time complained of some pain in her breast.On diagnosis, we shocked to listen from the Doctors that she had stage -4 breast cancer and wouldn’t survive more.We were totally indecisive as regards the path of medical treatment. Finally, we dared to get her operated at the Army Command Hospital Lucknow and then on referral the operation took place at the SGPGI Lucknow.There, in the Cancer-Ward, I experienced the most horrible stage of human-life. Even sometimes,on seeing the tragic state of other patients, I would found my mother in some better condition.The time went on passing,…my mother was counting her days alongwith several therapies and we were helplessly “attending “her …..One day, we all were to go for photography for Voter Id Card. I requested my mother to come alongwith us.She replied very slowly…..now it is of no use for me…The reply shook my inner conscience and exposed me to the real philosophy of life.. .Gradually,she had developed other complexities like breathing problem and even sudden unconsciousness,One day, she fell unconscious and we rushed her in a nearby hospital. e Dr Mahesh Balani ,the physician at Jeevan Jyoti Nursing Home at Jodhpur , advised me for the “palliative-treatment” that could at the most be administered on her. I had listened this term for the first time.We followed the advice.One day again,I had to admit my mother in an unconscious state. On treatment, she opened her eyes and on knowing the cause of hospitalisation, she ,with a feeble smile, told me……if this had been the death and I would prefer to die in this way…..with a calm and tranquility……I had no words either to endorse or to negate her statement.After some time, the condition deteriorated…all members were helpless with no hope…Ultimately, with deep sorrow,I invoked the Almighty to call my mother with Him.It was indeed a tough time that I was praying for my beloved mother’s final journey.On Nov 30,2007,she was by herself brushing her teeth in the morning …after some moment , we noticed no movement with her hands…the brush was inside her mouth. We immediately rushed her to the Hospital where she remained admitted for the full day without any recovery…..nothing was predictable.My father was sitting beside her head ..All of sudden, she opened her eyes ,without any body movement and looked for a moment at my father’s face with full eyes and slowly closed ..I rushed to call the Doctor to explain the development…Dr Balani came hurriedly read the pulse…looked at the ECG on screen and declared her departure forever.
The Article by Ms Bindu Nair has reminded me of those days with my mother. It is true that we can’t own the disease and pain of our loved-ones, but we can certainly share their tough times ….we can certainly mitigate their level of pain by way of palliative-treatment..
Thank you very much Ms Nair.