Published on: July 6, 2015

This is an additional story  from the children’s palliative care clinic in Trivandrum where Pallium India joins S.A.T hospital to provide care.  (Read Part 1: A Tryst with Thursday and Part 2: How much goodness can one day hold? of this series.) This experience from the Thursday gone by demonstrates not only how having a chronically ill child in the family can have devastating spin-off stories, but also how these adjuvant tragedies can be helped in no small measure by the active participation of a supportive community. Smriti Rana, consulting Psychologist and Programme Director for Children’s Palliative Care Project, writes:

Last week, we came across a mother of a sick child, whose situation was so dire, with such formidable odds, that she was considering ending it all. Separated from an unsupportive and abusive husband, estranged from family, ravaged by the illness of a sick child and unable to financially support her other two children, this mum was left with no choice but to place her older daughter in an orphanage and her other son in the care of a relative who now thinks it best that there be no contact between them. She was broken by her circumstances and isolated in her overwhelming grief. Her only source of support, her own mother, had died a month ago after suffering a stroke. This series of losses left her standing on this ledge. It is not far-fetched in these cases to imagine that the children would be at risk too. She graciously accepted our request to come in to our main facility and speak with us. We were keen on assessing the risk and providing crisis intervention for potential suicide. After an hour and a half, we felt we had gotten somewhere, and that, at least for the moment, the risk had abated.

Before she left, I remembered a package that had been sent by one of you. A certain Ms. Mehra, a ridiculously large-hearted person, had called me saying that she wanted to send across a few clothes and bits of jewelry that little girls would enjoy. I wasn’t quite sure how that would fit into the toy donation drive, but then she said she was also sending a beloved teddy bear. The package had been lying unopened in the room where the toys are being kept safe, guarded by almost everyone who works at Pallium India (yes we are VERY protective of these gifts). I asked the mother to hold on a bit and on a whim, opened this package for the first time. The clothes in that care package were exactly this childs size. Down to the last stitch. The mother looked at me in shock and asked me how I knew. The only answer I could give her was that I didn’t, but clearly they were meant for her daughter. And that teddy bear too, now has a loving home.

I need you to understand that this is a mother who has never been able to afford clothes for her children. On two occasions she had come in, once with her unwell child in tow, not having eaten because they didn’t have the money. A package of fresh clothes, in the right size, in colours a little girl would like, are nothing short of a miracle.

As it usually happens, it is not possible to be a 100% certain whether we had achieved what we had set out to do when the intervention session had ended. But I will tell you this. The look on her face as she held those clothes in her hands has left me with no doubt that she now believes there are better days ahead.

So, you should know, all of you who are sending in things that don’t seem like much to you (some of you have even apologized for not being able to give more) – one of you, not metaphorically, but quite literally may have saved not just one, but two precious lives.

And THAT, right there, is the power you hold to transform lives even from afar.

In a day or two, we will update you with other ways in which you can help and contribute, so please watch this space.

In the meanwhile, know that you have our eternal gratitude.

 

Read Part 4: Bringing out the big guns

(We are happily accepting toy donations for our weekly children’s palliative care clinic. Certain specifications need to be considered before sending the toys across, due to the nature of the children’s illnesses, so if you are interested in sending something across do write to us first:info@palliumindia.live-website.com. Thank you very much!)